Monday, September 29, 2008

Loving What Is

I was sick most of this past week. In addition to the cold, I get attacks of vertigo from time to time. The vertigo makes me dizzy and sometimes I get nauseous and vomit. It's a terrible thing. I am lucky that I am not working, and was able to spend a lot of time at home resting.

I think that these health problems I am having are due to stress. It is difficult living in a foreign country and trying to speak a new language. I thought it would be fun, but in fact, it is very difficult and stressful. Plus, because I am not working, I don't see people every day. I have a few friends here, but I am kind of isolated and don't have interaction with students or co-workers like I would if I were working. I realize how important it is to be around people, but right now, I don't know how to do that.

When I read other blogs by other foreigners living here in Buenos Aires, I find that many people have the same problems as me. They have trouble communicating and adjusting to the culture. A lot of people complain about things. Everybody misses the way things were back home.

It's funny because I don't hear my students in San Francisco complain that much. I wonder if maybe they don't complain to me, but complain with each other. Or is it because I, and these other foreigners are spoiled and are so used to having conveniences and luxuries that most people don't have?

Last night I went for a walk. It had been raining all day. I thought the sidewalks would be nice and clean and everything would be fresh because of the rain.

Instead, the sidewalks were very dirty and muddy. Why? Because the sidewalks here are made from tiles. The government is not responsible for the sidewalk, but private citizens are supposed to take care of the sidewalk in front of their home or business. But people don't have the money to do this. So many sidewalks are missing tiles and the dirt is exposed. Because of the rain, this dirt turned to mud. So when people were walking down the street they stepped in the mud and this mud covered all of the other tiles on the sidewalk. It was a big dirty mess.

A few years ago a friend introduced me to a woman named Byron Katie. Byron Katie wrote a book called "Loving What Is". Her idea in the book is that we can not argue with reality, and if we try to, it will make us crazy. So, the easiest and most peaceful thing we can do is to accept things the way they are.

These broken, dirty sidewalks are a good way for me to practice "loving what is". I could walk down the street and criticize and think 'these sidewalks should be clean', or I can see them the way they are and just accept them.

I think a lot of my stress about living here, and a lot of the stress that other foreigners are feeling comes from wanting things to be different than they are. But I think the secret is learning to accept things as they are and just loving that.

2 comments:

Meteor Blades said...

I found out about your blog from Diane Wallis. She has included it in a story she has written for the CATESOL News, a newsletter for ESL and TESL teachers. I haven't been to Argentina for 40 years, but I enjoyed what you had to say about it.

Diane said...

Hi Rick,

We read this blog entry last week and had a discussion about it. Here are some things different groups of students had to say:

Carmen, Alberto, and Bertha talked about how you are right in that people living in the Argentina (or other countries) expect the same privileges that they have in the U.S.

Eva, Sam, Hui and Thu talked about things that bother them in the U.S. For example, they think that the Muni buses in SF are too slow.

Renate, Alex, and Sunny talked about the blog and said that communication in English is difficult. So, that is something that is hard for them. They also used the group discussion to get to know one another.

Haydee, Chanh, and Leslie talked about things that cause them stress. Haydee feels stress when she has to drive with her husband! And, they also feel stress when they don't have enough time to cook, shop, and do other things they need to do. Chanh said she doesn't like to wear her work uniform. It's stressful for her because it is too hot and uncomfortable.

And, Loan, and Irving said that traffic and paying taxes is very stressful. Also, trying to communicate in English.

Finally, Juan, Channy, and Jose said that work is stressful. Jose works a lot of overtime. Also, Channy said the different weather in SF is stressful, it is difficult to speak English, and sometimes homeless people come into the cafe where she works and steal food.

So, as you can see, we all have stress in our lives. It is good to read about your experiences and think about them and how they relate to our own lives.

Thanks again for writing your blog. We hope you are enjoying Argentina and are not feeling stressed out today !

Diane