Back in Buenos Aires

After a short trip to Uruguay, I am back in Buenos Aires in my apartment that feels like home. It is nice to be home and in familiar surroundings.

I had a nice trip to Uruguay, but it is always challenging visiting a new place. I didn't know where to eat or where I could find a shop to buy water, even some of the food vocabulary was different. It is amazing, because Argentina and Uruguay are neighbors, yet, when I looked at the menu I didn't know many of the words for the food. It would be like visiting Nevada from California and finding the words on the menu completely different. Still, I had a good time, I found some good food and I made it there and back safely.

It is spring here in Buenos Aires. The trees are turning green, the birds are chirping and it is warm. People are beginning to wear shorts and t-shirts on the streets. Uruguay was still cold. People were wearing winter coats. It is nice to be back where it is warm.

The trip was good for me to be able to realize that my life here is comfortable. I have familiar surroundings and I can do things fairly easily here, even if it is still more difficult than San Francisco, it is easier than Uruguay!

I am finishing up my breakfast now and am on my way to the post office and the gym. I have not been to the post office here yet. I am sure it is different than in the U.S., and I am sure I will be confused. I am expecting it to be difficult, but if it turns out to be easy, I will be pleasantly surprised. I'll let you know how it goes!

Culture Shock - Finding What You Love

Today it has been 2 months since I came here. I arrived at the end of winter and now it is the beginning of spring. The weather still changes from day to day, sometimes it is warm and sometimes it is cold, but I can tell it is spring. The trees are turning green and birds are chirping everywhere.

In my two months here I have gone through different stages of culture shock. In the beginning I was excited about being here, but it didn't take me long before I was feeling tense and nervous about things. I was afraid to speak Spanish, especially at the supermarket, and every time I went there, I got nervous. I didn't like the pollution or the people smoking on the streets. My culture shock experience began making me sick.

I feel like now I am moving into a new phase. I am not sure what it is, but my health is better and I feel more relaxed about things.

I was looking for something on You Tube and I found a video that I really like. Every time I watch it, it makes me laugh. The more I watch it, the more I laugh. I sent this to some friends and now want to put it on my blog.

The reason I love this video is because for me it describes everything I love about Buenos Aires. It is hard for me to describe Buenos Aires only in words, but this video does a really good job doing it.

This is not a video of all of the famous tourist sites here. Instead it is a confrontation between some people and the police.

The video was shot in San Telmo. San Telmo is one of the oldest parts of Buenos Aires. It used to be where the rich lived, but there was a yellow fever epidemic and the rich people left. Their big homes were taken over by the newly arriving immigrants who often lived in very crowded conditions. Today, San Telmo is a working class neighborhood. It is a little dangerous. Some buildings need repairs. But it has a lot of character.

Every Sunday in San Telmo there is a street fair. There are vendors selling clothes and handicrafts, there is typical food and music, and of course, tango.

This video was part of a documentary about a tango orchestra called Orquesta Tipica. It is a group of musicians who decided to form a tango orchestra. They wanted to set up on the street in San Telmo and play. The police came and told them they could not play.

I love the interaction between the musicians, the people on the street and the police officer. The officer is very respectful as he tries to enforce the law. The people are varied. Some are respectful, but others become very animated. This is Buenos Aires.

Here the peole are very animated. They use their hands when they talk. They use many different gestures and are very passionate. They protest everything. I love watching this video because it reminds me of the things I love about Buenos Aires and why I came here.

I think it is good to remind myself about the things that I enjoy about being here and try not to focus on the things I don't like. It makes me feel better.

Loving What Is

I was sick most of this past week. In addition to the cold, I get attacks of vertigo from time to time. The vertigo makes me dizzy and sometimes I get nauseous and vomit. It's a terrible thing. I am lucky that I am not working, and was able to spend a lot of time at home resting.

I think that these health problems I am having are due to stress. It is difficult living in a foreign country and trying to speak a new language. I thought it would be fun, but in fact, it is very difficult and stressful. Plus, because I am not working, I don't see people every day. I have a few friends here, but I am kind of isolated and don't have interaction with students or co-workers like I would if I were working. I realize how important it is to be around people, but right now, I don't know how to do that.

When I read other blogs by other foreigners living here in Buenos Aires, I find that many people have the same problems as me. They have trouble communicating and adjusting to the culture. A lot of people complain about things. Everybody misses the way things were back home.

It's funny because I don't hear my students in San Francisco complain that much. I wonder if maybe they don't complain to me, but complain with each other. Or is it because I, and these other foreigners are spoiled and are so used to having conveniences and luxuries that most people don't have?

Last night I went for a walk. It had been raining all day. I thought the sidewalks would be nice and clean and everything would be fresh because of the rain.

Instead, the sidewalks were very dirty and muddy. Why? Because the sidewalks here are made from tiles. The government is not responsible for the sidewalk, but private citizens are supposed to take care of the sidewalk in front of their home or business. But people don't have the money to do this. So many sidewalks are missing tiles and the dirt is exposed. Because of the rain, this dirt turned to mud. So when people were walking down the street they stepped in the mud and this mud covered all of the other tiles on the sidewalk. It was a big dirty mess.

A few years ago a friend introduced me to a woman named Byron Katie. Byron Katie wrote a book called "Loving What Is". Her idea in the book is that we can not argue with reality, and if we try to, it will make us crazy. So, the easiest and most peaceful thing we can do is to accept things the way they are.

These broken, dirty sidewalks are a good way for me to practice "loving what is". I could walk down the street and criticize and think 'these sidewalks should be clean', or I can see them the way they are and just accept them.

I think a lot of my stress about living here, and a lot of the stress that other foreigners are feeling comes from wanting things to be different than they are. But I think the secret is learning to accept things as they are and just loving that.

The Honeymoon is Over

I just finished reading some of my blog from last year, when I first came to Buenos Aires. On my first trip here, I LOVED it! I was excited about everything and it seemed like this place was magic. I was excited about learning Spanish and meeting people and doing new things and the weather seemed beautiful to me even though it changed often and sometimes got very cold. It was fun reading about that time because that was the honeymoon. I know that with culture shock, as with everything else, the honeymoon doesn't last forever.

It is clear to me that the honeymoon is over. When I read other blogs from other foreigners living here, I can tell if they have been here for a long time or not. If they are fairly new here, they still have that excitement that I felt last year. If they have been here for longer, they usually are complaining about things.

I don't have many things to complain about here. I have a fairly good life, and I am glad that I don't have to work and I have a flexible schedule that allows me time to relax if I need it. This past week I had a cold, so I didn't do anything besides going to my Italian and Arabic classes. If I was working, I probably would have had to take some medicine so that I could go to work, instead of stay home and recuperate.

But, I don't have that feeling of excitement that I felt when I came here for the first time. I remember being excited with every new thing - going to the supermarket, using the ATM, finding a store that sold seafood! It was all new and exciting. Now, I know that the supermarkets are not that great, and I miss Trader Joe's. I don't use the ATM because my bank charges me a fee, and the seafood store is kind of scary for me because I don't know the names of so many fish in Spanish.

I am no longer on my honeymoon with Buenos Aires. I'm not in the worst part of culture shock either - the part where everything is awful. I am kind of in the middle. I can see the good things about being here and I can see the bad. I am glad I will get to return to San Francisco for a short time before coming back here again next year.

Am I Learning?

Learning is an interesting thing. Sometimes we are learning but we don't even realize it.

When I first came back here in August, I felt like I was learning and improving in my Spanish on a daily basis, especially with all of my interactions at the supermarket. But even outside of the supermarket, I was speaking a lot of Spanish with conversation partners, friends, in all of the classes I am taking, and with people in other shops. It was very exciting and I was feeling like I was improving very quickly.

But now I am involved in learning other things. I'm feeling like I am getting better at tango, after a VERY difficult beginning. I'm starting to be able to read in Arabic, even though I had no confidence that I would be able to do that. But for some reason, I am feeling like my Spanish has stalled. I don't feel like I am speaking as much Spanish and don't really feel like speaking Spanish with people. I am very aware of my mistakes now and there are so many things I want to be able to say that I can't. It's not as exciting as it was in the beginning and is beginning to feel like a lot of work for me.

It will be interesting for me to see what happens with the other things I am studying. Maybe one day Arabic is going to feel like work and not be fun, or I am going to feel like my tango dancing it not improving anymore. My guess is that when we learn something new we go through different phases and that sometimes these phases are fun and exciting and we can see our progress, and other times these phases are not so exciting and we feel like nothing is happening.

Whatever the case, I think it is very important to continue. I read somewhere that people often give up when they are learning something new because they stop feeling excited about it. I guess this might be what is happening with my Spanish. I still do something every day to try to practice, like watching the news or reading the newspaper. And even though it doesn't feel as exciting, I feel like I am still learning, though maybe a little more slowly now.

I think it is good to stop every now and then to think about how I feel about learning. It is good for me to recognize that I am feeling a little bored with Spanish right now and I am feeling like I don't want to speak. I think a good thing for me to do would be to try to find a way to get excited again. I'm not sure what that is, but asking the question is a good way to begin.

One Month

One month has passed already since I arrived. Time seems to have flown by very quickly. I'm feeling pretty comfortable - not totally, but better than the week of culture shock I experienced.

On Wednesday I had a private lesson with my tango teacher Marcelo. I had my Italian class in the morning. When I first saw Marcelo, we chatted a bit, I think about my Italian class or what I had been doing since I last saw him. He told me he thought my Spanish was improving. I thought it was interesting that he said that. I think it is improving too, at least it is becoming more fluent. Having more opportunities to practice really helps me. I have to say things beyond things you say when you first meet someone, or asking for things in a store. Telling stories and having conversations with people requires some advanced grammar and vocabulary, and putting myself into situations where I need that helps me to put into practice some of the things I've studied in my advanced level classes. It's all starting to make sense now and I'm feeling more comfortable using things like the subjunctive and conditional.

What I found interesting though was that I felt my tango had improved. Even simple things like walking, which Marcelo has me do as a warm up, felt more comfortable for me. I felt like I had better balance, like my walk was more confident and like I was walking in time with the music better. When I danced with Marcelo, I was leading, and I felt like my lead was strong and clear. Marcelo didn't say anything about any of that, but even so, I noticed an improvement and I felt good about it.

Learning is interesting for me, but I think it is important for us to take time to recognize the progress we are making. Sometimes we might feel like we are not improving at all and that can be frustrating. But when we feel our improvement, whether or not someone tells us they see it, I think it can encourage us to keep trying, even though things might be difficult.

For me feeling like I am improving as a tango dancer and as a Spanish speaker encourages me to keep going out and looking for opportunities to practice.

Getting Better

I had a good week after a scary start with the difficult tango class. First, I have to say that I am feeling very comfortable being here. My Spanish is functional, though at times it fails me and I can't hear what people are saying to me, but in general, it is working fine, and I am able to communicate, and I understand everything at the supermarket now!

I am enjoying my conversation exchanges and my Italian and Arabic classes. Italian is very easy for me because this is the third time I have taken beginning Italian. But in this class the teacher speaks only Italian (which I like). Actually, it kind of puts me at a little advantage, unlike in my Arabic class where there is a lot of Spanish spoken and I get lost easily. Both classes are really fun though, and the other students are interesting. I enjoy just sitting in the class and watching them.

Tango was scary for me this week. I took another class on Tuesday that the guy at the tango school recommended, saying it was a little more basic. It was still hard, but it was better. I got nervous when I had to dance with partners, but the three women I danced with were very kind and helpful and forgiving when I made mistakes. But what happened is that my fear motivated me to do something about the fact that I seem to be a very slow tango learner.

First, I found some videos on You Tube that are tango lessons. I also watched other videos of people dancing. I think it is good to see what the dance is supposed to look like. I bought some tango instruction videos and watched them and practiced a little in my living room. I contacted my private tango teacher and set up some lessons. We had to stop because both of us had the flu. Dancing with him is very good because he gives me correction every time I make a mistake. Sometimes it is frustrating, but I am learning a lot. And finally, I called a friend and asked him if he wanted to go to a class with me. We are going this afternoon. Then we can practice what we learned together in my living room.

I know the important thing for learning something is practice. It is the hardest thing for me to do. With language, if I am not living in the country where the language is spoken, I hardly practice. Even here, where I am trying to become fluent in Spanish, I am still hesitant to speak Spanish as much as I could. With tango, when I was studying in San Francisco, I never practiced at home. But now, because I feel so nervous about dancing with other people in class, and because the level of the classes are more difficult, I am motivated to practice. I practice in some way every day now.

It's true what they say, "practice makes perfect". I don't know if I will ever be perfect in Spanish or in tango, but I know that if I practice, I will get better.